OT Humor - drug guide

CELTIC FERRET 2004-02-17 12:38:13

Getting into heaven

You Can't Fool The Kids In Sunday School!

You can't fool the kids in Sunday school; they are way too smart...

"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money
to the church, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday
school class.

"NO!" all the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat
and tidy, would I get into heaven?"

Again the answer was, "NO!"

"Well," I continued, "then how can I get to heaven?"

A five-year-old boy shouted, "You gotta be dead!"

Italian Conversation

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in
animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their
conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of
the men say: "Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I
come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice.
Then I come once a more." "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady
indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey coola down, lady," said the main. "I justa tell my friend how to spell
Mississippi."