Re: Possible OD or just huge shot?

DONEGAN@WEBTV.NET (MICHAEL DONEGAN) 2004-04-05 19:14:06

>it is happening again only my son is in
> my room axy suggestions on wthot i can
> do to slow the shaking ....tremors
> wdatever they are down, i hqve no ohe
> to help me.

I posted in response to this about 14 hours ago..before work..and the
damn thing hasn't shown up yet.
Reading this really upset me....esp since I read it right after I wrote
my previous post...the one where I DID get on your case...Let me repeat
what I wrote AFTER that...I had this post on my mind all day at work...
I truly hope you keep posting here....so what if you and me had a
couple of "testy" exchanges....? compared to most "fights" here...ours
was exceptionally mild...
How did the above situation resolve itself? How old is your son? What
I've been trying to get across to you...where you're at right
now...there is no wheat germ drink...or a Valium...or anything...that is
gonna stop the "seizures" from continuing. The level you've reached,
with your coke use...ensures that every shot is, effectively, an OD
shot....You are so fucking close to the edge....you don't have a bit of
room..What's gonna happen if you get an oz...or 8-ball, and it's jst a
little bit stronger than what you're used to? You're already so close to
killing yourself...(I don't mean intentionally...) any number of tiny,
inevitable "accidents" can occur...and instead of doing the "fish flops"
in front of your son...He'll have to spend the rest of his life with the
imnage of his mother dying right in front of him....Another question
though...Assuming you hadn't had the seizure thing today...in front of
your son...How can you possibly manage to bang a good shot of coke, and
then talk to, act normal...in front of him? I mean, there's no way I was
able to hide the fact that I was totally fucked up...and to people who
are not familiar with its effects.. seeing a loved one amping on
coke....can be terrifying...
So far, most of the people who have responded to your op..me included,
have been extremely worried and concerned about your welfare...I think
you're wrong to mistake people's concern, and desire to "reach you" for
getting down on you..Well, actually, maybe they are...but we're doing it
because we care..I certainly do...I'm an addict, just like you....I have
done exactly what you are doing... And I know, without a doubt, if
something doesn't change....it will kill you.
I mentioned (in my missing post) the fact that your 'done may be having
an effect on how the coke hits you...But..it might actually be
helping...it might keep the coke from pushing you over that
ledge...maybe. Or, it might be making it worse..because it's in
you..keeping you somewhat "sedated", you might have to use a lot more
coke to overcome the 'done...and after a certain point, 'done or no
'done...the coke is gonna hit you...It also might be setting you up...if
you get used to doing a certain size hit, (with the 'done in you) and
then you stop...and do that same size hit...AND maybe being in WD ...who
the fuck knows how it'll all affect you? I remember shooting coke while
high on 'done....NOTHING could get through the 'done....not like without
the 'done...
So, anyway...( I hate to say this...) Keep coming back....(lol)
Really..keep posting...try to not be so sensitive...don't mistake
honesty for insults....
Take care...
Mike